Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
