I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
