Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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