We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
