i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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