bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
