life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
