can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
