I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
