This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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