I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
