You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
