Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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