Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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