fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Yo dont text me then not text me
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
