he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she told me i tasted like america
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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