In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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