quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
