I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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