i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
