I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
