She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
