I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
