Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
