we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
