why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
