If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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