He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
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He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
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They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize