I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
