i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
