i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
