ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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