Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
