i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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