used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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