I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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