my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
last night I used snow as a chaser
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