you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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