Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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