just come out here and I will go home with you...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
