Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
false alarm. still invincible.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
