sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
