If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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