Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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