As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
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in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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