I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
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I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
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I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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