I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I have vodka in my lungs
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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