Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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