After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
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We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
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I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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