I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
