is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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