They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
