I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
