dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize