It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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