I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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