Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
