NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
birth control should be required to get into college
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
