Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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