Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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