With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize