Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He kissed a someone with a penis
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
