Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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