No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
