His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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