I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
be right there i have to get my cape
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
