so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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