We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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