I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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