I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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