The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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