she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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